"I'm Supposed to be Writing a Research Protocol" Rant

I * should * be writing a proposal for my master's thesis. But I'm not. I was * supposed * to be writing it this afternoon, but instead I tried to take a nap and save Princess Peach with my Wii skills (a very well thought out frivolous birthday gift I received this weekend, timing of course not ideal).

Instead I have this for you, just trying to do my part, saving the world one rant at a time (copyright requested by Lalo3000 himself.)

On Monday I got an email from a brother in the angry mixed kid mafia. It read:

What is up with white girls?

While my initial response was "yeah I know right?" now, I'm actually compelled to instead, restate his question.

What is up with girls?

It's no mystery that I never, even incline, toward waxing poetic about female-ness. My chick circle is tight and I have a love-hate relationship with my second X chromosome.

But lately, the men around me seem to have encountered a plague. A plague of seemingly intelligent, beautiful, independent women who, in attempting  to work out their own shit, have taken to treating these otherwise good guys like the scum of the earth. Reasons have been listed in grocery list format, stated mid-argument or never named– only thought– and expected to be understood via psychic ability or telepathy.

In light of this I can't help but make some observations about the doods in question.

1. All these men are incredibly caring and compassionate with folks they love.
2. They do their best to be * good * people – exceptions being those vices whose "bad-for-you" quotient is subjective.
3. With the women in question, these men gave– too much in my opinon– and would have given more IF the option had been present.
4. They're smart, decent looking, funny, likable, doods.
   

(Note: Picture here is a real halloween costume of mine from a few years ago. Yes the sensor bar is actually glasses... I know, I'm a gangsta).

And the problems? Ranged from serious ("You lied, even to protect me, and thats a deal breaker" or "I have abandoment issues") to mediocre ("I'm just not over my ex.") to the absolutely ridiculous ("You can't be friends with women, thats just not possible." "You should never get mad while driving, ever.") *** Side note: uh... who doesn't bang the steering wheel, or flip off other drivers, at the very least?!***

And while I understand the first few, as the lists when on and on, the rationale seemed to become more and more confusing stupid. It all pointed to two things.

Insecurity and Absurdly High Expectations

So whose to blame? I'll tell you that I had a highly articulated rant working about who not to blame, and what insecurity and high expectations are based on, but decidedly, now, I'm just going balls out and ranting.

Life for independent, intelligent beautiful young women has new meaning now, now in 2009 in a post- Sex in The City/He's Just Not that Into You/ Out with the pants suit, Back in with the pencil skirt/ feminism.

Now we're supposed to assert ourselves in our careers, early on. You can be a stay at home mom, work at home mom, occasionally work outside of the home mom or no children at all working women.

We're supposed to say NO. We won't take that. We WILL NOT settle. "He's just not that into you," try "It wouldn't have worked out anyway because you'd find some crazy imperfection in him that is a deal breaker."

I get it. I won't settle. I want the job. I want the power. But PLEASE. When did taking risks become settling. When did perfection become the ultimatum. There is no perfect man. No actually yes there is. No there isn't. I love you. I don't. You're great. You're not great b/c I don't like the way you cut your hair.

GIVE ME AN EFFING BREAK AND MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MIND. We're back to a world of YAY women/power/equality, but at the expense of other women and now even the "few" (used quite liberally b/c i believe its more than a few) decent men.

Is the nouveau feminism of 2009 going to boil heterosexual relationships down into a “He’s a Mr. Big/Berger/ Aiden?”

Will we constantly find a way to be seemingly independent but still back stab those around us, under the guise that we’re independent, and if ya liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it?

Cause if so, I’m opting out.